Turn The Lights Back On
I’m drawn to and saddened by the most recent song by Billy Joel called, “Turn the Lights Back On.” If you haven’t heard it yet, take a moment to watch the official video before reading on. (www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOf6CMbHPuA). Whatever you may think about Mr. Joel or his music, it’s hard to deny that he is an extremely talented musician and songwriter. This song touches me down deep as a therapist because it is very accurate to the angst I see in so many people I serve in therapy.
I do not claim to know Mr. Joel’s intent or purpose for each word of the tune nor his experiences that may have inspired the melody, but it does speak to me as a song of regret and desperation for a relationship (or maybe a few) that was neglected, suffering, and dying. But despite the damage that has been done, the lyrics voice a deep desire to find forgiveness and healing. Yet, it is also punctuated with a question of, “Did I wait too long to fix the problem. Did I leave my marriage in the darkness too long.” The fact that the video displays Mr. Joel at each era of his music career, makes me wonder if maybe he is trying to convey that this pattern played out throughout his life and four marriages, and that maybe the demands of his profession were the dividing force that created the brokenness. Or maybe it is only about his current marriage. I don’t know.
His words are haunting and self-condemning: “And pride sticks out its tongue, laughs at the portrait that we've become. Stuck in a frame, unable to change, I was wrong.” “I’m late, but I’m here right now. Though I used to be romantic, I forgot somehow.” Then there are the desperate pleas to rekindle the lost love: “Please, open the door” “Is there still time for forgiveness? Won't you tell me how? I can't read your mind.” Finally, in the end, it sounds as if he is coming to the darkest realization of his actions or inactions: “As we're laying in the darkness, did I wait too long to turn the lights back on?” As a therapist, I’m sure many people can relate to his words.
I guess what saddens me the most, is that the ‘light turned back on’ (his attempt to correct the situation), though it may have been ‘turned on too late,’ in my opinion, was not truly turned on? I wonder if he’s looking in the wrong direction, and trying to fix things on his own strength and not seeking the true light. In John 8:12, after Jesus forgives the adulteress of her sins and tells her to “sin no more,” He stated, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” To truly fix our broken relationships, we desperately need Love Incarnate. We need God’s grace and Jesus’s example to truly turn the lights back on in our world of broken marriages!
ACTION STEP: This week, ask for God’s grace to turn the light of Christ back on in your marriage.