Objectification
Lust is treating another human as a means, not an end, for my sexual pleasure. Today, as in the past, we live in a world that is promoting and defending the right to use others and to be used as objects, all in the name of freedom of expression or artistic expression. We have magazines and websites that do this through the use of hard-core pornography and some through what is known as soft porn. The soft porn is more visible (out in the public eye) and can be just as detrimental in leading men and women alike down a path from which is hard to recover.
This issue is so prevalent today that even some “marriage and relationship experts” have been duped into not seeing the problems with it. I posed the following question to one nationally known marriage expert who was speaking at a marriage enrichment seminar I attended: “How can couples who are struggling with health issues still build intimacy when sex is not an option?” Thinking he would give great advice on alternative ways to be close to each other or to spend quality time doing emotionally bonding activities or even tender caressing, etc., he proceeded to hint that watching pornography together was a good possibility. Needless to say, I have gotten rid of all his books, which I found promoted this also, and encouraged others to do the same.
Many couples today believe that the use of porn can enrich their sex lives. Yet, I’ve had to counsel more couples than I can count on how to recover from porn addiction after the destruction that it created in their relationship. The biggest sex organ in our body is the brain. We bond through the deep connections we have emotionally, and that connection is strengthened through neurochemical release during intercourse. But without the emotional bond, sex can eventually take on a role of simply getting our own desires met versus it being a mutual gift to each other. In a sense, we start to feel used more than loved. Many times I have talked to couples having marital problems in which they have identified feelings of being used or neglected when it comes to sex. They have stated that they are tired of being hunted or looked at as an object versus a person. No good comes from treating others as objects.
Jesus came “in the flesh” (the Word became flesh) so that His flesh could be destroyed in atonement for our sins of the flesh. He wants to heal us from this scourge.
ACTION STEP: This week, if you have been struggling with porn use, please seek help in eliminating it from your life through confession and counseling.