The Book of Proverbs and Marriage - 6

(Proverbs 14:4) “Where there are no oxen, the crib is clean; but abundant crops come through the strength of the bull.”

In laymen’s terms, “If you don’t have oxen, you don’t have oxen poop. But, you also don’t have the benefits that come with having oxen (or the poop that can encourage things to grow).” In comparative terms, “If you don’t have a spouse, you don’t have spousal problems to deal with. But with marriage comes many benefits of having a lifelong companion and helpmate for this earthly journey.” However, if we’re called to the married life, we will have to be prepared for the struggles that come with it, and have a plan for how to productively work through them.

Too often in life, couples approach each situation or issue from their own perspective and belief system. Then clashes often happen when our ‘way of handling it’ conflicts with our spouse’s ‘way of handling it.’ Next, frustration, fighting, and undermining start to rear their head. We follow that up with long dissertations toward each other about “why we are right” and “they are WRONG!” I mean…. less right.

Marriage struggles call for a team approach which necessitates working together on a plan of action, guidelines for how we will accomplish it, and ways to measure success and adjust when the plan is not working. Not only do we need to have a plan and be consistent in it, but we need to support each other as we enact it and encourage each other. This is especially critical when it comes to our plan for raising and disciplining children.

Also, remember that a plan doesn’t have to be perfect, it just needs to be something we are unified on. We can adjust it as needed and add or subtract from it as we learn what works and what doesn’t. The real key is that we are working together and not in opposition to one another, because it is rather ‘crappie’ when that happens.

ACTION STEP: This week, find one area in your family life that needs a concerted plan, and together, make time to build one.