The Book of Proverbs and Marriage - 5
(Proverbs 13:20) “Walk with the wise and you become wise, but the companion of fools fares badly.”
Based off of this Proverb, my advice this week is, “choose your friends wisely.” I’ve seen the positive difference it makes, for married couples, when the friends that they keep are supportive rather than undermining of their marriage. This can play out in many ways: through the advice they give, through the things that they encourage, or through the example that they display.
There are times when marriages can become abusive and dangerous and the best advice is to seek ‘safety’ first for both spouses. But in most cases of marital scuffles, couples just need encouragement to work through the struggles calmly, or to seek professional help when they can’t productively work through an issue. When others give you counsel or advice, it should not be with suggestions that create more separation and division, but rather with encouragement to seek help and healing. Friends often want to be supportive to each other, but words like, “You deserve better than him/her,” or “you should just dump that bum,” are usually not prudent advice.
Another way friends can undermine our marriage is when they encourage behavior that is damaging to our marital well-being, such as long nights out drinking, viewing pornography or going to strip clubs, spending time alone with persons of the opposite sex, or in participating in any activity which tempt you to consider lying to your spouse. True friends should want the best for us and for our marriage. However, many foolish friends desire having a companion in their unhealthy, sinful behaviors. Birds of a feather flock together, and if you find yourself spending time with others who don’t even respect their own marriage, you may find that their attitudes and actions eventually wear off on yours.
ACTION STEP: This week, spend time with your spouse discussing any friend of yours or theirs that causes you concern, and why. Make a decision together how to better put boundaries on those friendships.