Hard to….Swallow
On a recent trip I took with my wife, we flew together on a new airline that we weren’t familiar with and were not sure how seating worked since it was a first come first serve. As in several things in life, we approached the situation differently and quickly found that our methods did collide. When it comes to traveling, I am the kind that tries to be proactive and gain control over the situation so as to not end up on the short end of the stick when it comes to uncomfortable seating arraignments or having ‘no space for my carry-on bag.’ My wife, on the other hand, takes a more laid back, “why hurry, because we’re going to be sitting on the plane a long time anyway,” kind of person. Unfortunately, the two collided.
I felt the frustration build up inside and I almost reverted back to behaviors from my earlier marriage days of becoming snippy and augmentative. But luckily, years of practice in dealing with hard moments like these gave me the wherewithal to turn away and swallow. Swallow my frustration. Swallow my pride. But most of all, swallow the petty, angry words I was desiring to say. I knew, it would not only be ineffective in that moment, but also, they would have set our relationship back several yard.
In moments such as this, I’ve come to realize how Satan takes these opportunities to provoke division. He looks to ‘poke’ us in the eye and make us blind what God wants of us in these circumstances. Stopping the reactions, that swell up inside from emotions, has to be where it starts. Then we need to pray. We need to ask God for the strength to overcome our pride and anger for the sake of our beloved. Our relationship is more important than a 2-hour flight.
Then, when we’ve settled down and are able to find time to talk, we can process the concerns in a calmer and more reasonable way. It is also important not to put off the conversation for too long of a period or to put it off indefinitely. Apologizing and forgiving quickly, as well as understanding each other’s perspective is the best way to avoid chipping away at the health of our marriage.
ACTION STEP: This week, when you find yourself in one of those frustrating moments in your marriage, hold your tongue, swallow your words, pray, and then come back to your beloved later to work things out when you are both calmer.