Fruit of the Spirit - Self-Control

Titus 2:11-12 – “For the grace of God has appeared, saving all and training us to reject godless ways and worldly desires and to live temperately, justly, and devoutly in this age.”

We live in a world that offers us so many ways to lose our sense of self control. We are bombarded with so much information and stimuli through our phones, the internet, email, and social media that often suck away our time and attention in large amounts. We have stresses in our jobs, our commute to places and events, our responsibilities, our finances, and more that cause us to feel angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. We have temptations that play on our concupiscence – alcohol, drugs, pornography, overeating, and other addictions. There are so many ways we often lose our sense of self-control, and with it we add more possibilities for creating a divide between us and others, especially our spouse.

In marriage, we rely on each other to help us in getting our needs met and in helping us navigate the stresses, problems, and challenges of life. This becomes harder to do when we lose our ability to focus on our commitment to each other due to addictions, loss of emotional control, and loss of time and attention for one another. We have to be able to find balance in our life and ultimately control the things that have the most control over us.

First, we have to admit the problem and see it as a problem. Second, we need to build boundaries with or against unhealthy or unhelpful behaviors and patterns. This may consist of setting time limits, cutting activities or certain social media out of our life, learning techniques for calming our anger, or having accountability partners or a regulating apps on our devices; all depending on our particular struggle. Third, we need to draw God back into the center of our lives with personal and couple’s prayer, Eucharistic adoration, Scripture, and church attendance. Lastly, we need to build new healthy patterns into our lives, through God’s grace, and give it time to become a new way of life.  

ACTION STEP: This week, identify one unhealthy pattern in your life and start working on a healthier pattern to replace it with in your life.