How to Make Friends Hate You
Why is it that we spend so much energy falling in love only to exert so little energy staying in love? I used to write my spouse (girlfriend at the time) love poems and write her love songs and sing them to her in a crowd of people. I would open doors for her and carry her over puddles. Then we got married, and the romantic part of my brain just seemed to shrivel up. Oh yeah, I brought her home flowers on our anniversary and took her out to dinner, but most of the time I got them on the way home and looked for the marked down ones at Kroger’s. I also made her pick the restaurant because I was too indecisive.
I’m not sure when the rock hit me in the head and finally woke me up, but I realized how little I put into our Anniversary which symbolized one of the greatest days of my life. I stood at the altar years before and promised to give her my life, my love and to make her my number one. Then too quickly, I pushed her back to number three or four behind other commitments and things that needed to be done day in and day out.
Since that time, I have corrected my errors and have spent much more time, days if not weeks, before our Anniversary planning something special. I try to look for ways to say that not only have I been thinking about you, but you are so very special to me every day.
One Anniversary, I surprised her by taking her to a local church, pastored by a friend of ours, and we renewed our vows. Then we drove to the college where we first met and we spent time remembering our first date, our first kiss, and where I proposed to her. From there we went out to eat and afterwards I took her to a hotel where there were flowers and cheesecake and no distractions from our children or other commitments. There I told her again how much I loved her and how much I enjoyed every day with her.
I have finally come to realize the greatest present we can give is our ‘presence’ in the PRESENT! It’s a hard Anniversary to top, but you can bet I’ll keep trying. However, the biggest downfall of this whole evening was that, due to my wife telling all of her friends about it, their husbands hated me for months for this one. Oh well, I can live with that.
ACTION STEP: This week, take some time and plan something very special for your spouse, and then surprise them with it!