The Little Things

I used to spend a lot of time planning special events for my wife early on in our relationship. Slowly over time, the planning time got less and less due to the number of children and time commitments. I still tried to celebrate each special day, like her birthday and mother’s day, but it seems like I rarely had the time to plan grand activities, presents, or celebrations. Somewhere along the line, we both started to give in to the futility of making big plans, except for milestone anniversaries and birthdays. Even some of them got reduced, in our efforts to design and implement, due to kids getting married, graduating, or having some other time consuming life event.

Although it is still important to celebrate these special days with and for our spouse, I have found it even more beneficial to intentionally do the special ‘little thing’ for each other every day. We all want to be loved, thought of, and shown appreciation, but it doesn’t always need to be in the grand moments of our lives. The little ways, every day, that we show each other that we are thinking of them and care about their needs, goes a longer way in building up a relationship, then just the ‘big to-do’s’ a few times throughout the year.

It’s those times of making and taking coffee or tea to our spouse without them asking for it, or the back rub that was definitely needed, but not asked for. It’s the sincere compliment that is given, when our spouse needs one, in those times of self-doubt, or the hug that is initiated as a comfort in those moments when we are both crushed by a hard life-changing event. It’s the little ‘thank you’s’ for the commonplace events that you know are a sacrifice for your spouse, like cooking, cleaning, fixing a stopped up toilet, or simply giving a well needed smile. It’s also in those times when we stop what we are doing to say a prayer together for the strength to work through a difficult issue.

St. Teresa of Calcutta once said, “Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.” “It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters.”

ACTION STEP: This week, feed your spouse with small acts of love every day!