The Book of Sirach and Marriage - 5

(Sirach 6: 14 – 16) “Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure. Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth. Faithful friends are life-saving medicine; those who fear God will find them.”

I know this passage talks about friends and not about spouses specifically, but I still think it is very fitting when talking about marriage. I’ve told my kids often that, in my experience, the best intimate relationships tend to start as good friends. There is something to be said about taking a lot of time building an emotional connection and friendship with another person first, prior to moving into being exclusive, engaged, and then eventually married, before becoming physically intimate.

While those of us who go onto marriage will become sexually intimate and develop a whole new level of bonding and commitment through the possibility of children, there is an importance for our relationship to retain a deep bond of friendship that seeks to continue the excitement, the intentional dating and wooing, and the ongoing enjoyment of each other’s presence. This is often lost in marriage because we allow complacency to set in or we allow other distractions to steal away our time and attention. However, all the lovemaking in the world will not assuage or heal the brokenness that is experienced when the emotional connection is damaged or sparse in a marital relationship. This is because the biggest sex organ in the body is the brain, and when starved of emotional affection, physical affection often becomes empty and strained.

When a spouse is a true friend and lover, they become a treasure to our lives. When their heart is in love with God also, their worth is beyond price. They can be a salve for our ailments of mind and body. They can even be an inspiration for us to become a better person altogether.

ACTION STEP: This week, rekindle friendship with your spouse.