Prayer of St. Francis - Verse 3

“Where there is injury, pardon;” 

This week we focus on the 3rd verse of the St. Francis Prayer, where we continue our efforts of being and instrument in the hands of God. This verse is concentrated on our willingness to not only forgive another person (our spouse), but also to recognize where there has been injury in our relationship. This may sound like a simple task, because when someone hurts us, knowingly or unknowingly, most of us remember the day, time, and situation that it happened. It seems like a ‘no-brainer’ that we would remember when someone hurt us.

However, many people that I have encounter in therapy, claim that they don’t think about those situations and just “let it go.” I often hear this from men. Yet, their spouses will often say that, despite what they are being told, they can tell something is wrong and that their spouse is frequently irritated with them. Sometimes they notice their spouse avoiding any type of difficult conversations. Yet, with a little digging on my part, it becomes obvious that resentment has set in and their behaviors are the result of discontentment.

Forgiveness can be very difficult at times, and this is where living out this verse can become a challenge, if not an obstacle, to healing. But, are we willing to ask God for the grace to forgive and to let go of the anger that holds us bound and keeps us bitter? If we will not forgive, then trust cannot be regained or even successfully worked on in our relationship. We all make mistakes, and all want to be forgiven. But are we willing to do the same for our spouse? The more we can build a habit of forgiveness from the beginning of our marriage (or from where we are now) with a generous heart, the better chance we have of quickly working through issues with success.

ACTION STEP: This week, be quick to forgive your spouse in all things. Keep in mind, that forgiveness is about letting go of bitterness and anger. It is not about forgetting, condoning, or regained trust.