Prayer of St. Francis - Verse 1
“Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;”
We continue the reflection on the prayer of St. Francis connecting each verse to our marital journey. The first line sets the tone for our disposition in prayer and the direction which we ought to follow in the relationships of our life. First, and foremost, we ask God not only to be involved in the building of our relationships but also to take the lead. When we ask to be an instrument of His peace, we are asking Him to be the music maker. This requires a docility, an openness and compliance to participating in His Will. God is the relationship expert and will do great things through us if we let Him.
The other part of this verse is the word peace. It does not indicate that we are asking for happiness in our marriage, but rather concord and unity, regardless of the circumstances. Too many couples come to me believing the purpose of seeking counsel for their marriage is to find happiness and to eliminate the struggles. Unfortunately, in a broken world where there is so much sin and sadness, this is a tall order that is near impossible to accomplish. Every relationship is going to have its ups and downs. Trials will need to be endured, and if our goal is to hurry up and get back to “happy,” we may find ourselves merely frustrated and disappointed, or possibly even in a pattern of avoiding one another to distract from the discomfort.
Simply encouraging your spouse to ignore the bad and to “get back to happy” is not the solution to finding peace. It only makes them feel blamed and more alone while leaving both party’s struggles unacknowledged. Striving for peace in our relationship, and seeking God’s grace to help us in this journey, should lead us to stop the fighting and instead to seek understanding of one another’s needs through the difficulties. We should seek not only to help build peace but also be willing to walk along side of our spouse, as we carry our crosses. Peace can come when a companion is willing to patiently journey with us through the hills and valleys, ups and downs, good and bad.
ACTION STEP: This week, pray and practice being an instrument of God’s peace toward your spouse. Let God lead the way, and humbly let His ‘music’ come forth from you!