Hard to Swallow

(Romans 14: 19 – 21) – “Let us then pursue what leads to peace and to building up one another. For the sake of food, do not destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to become a stumbling block by eating; it is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.”

Here is a passage in Scripture that is hard for many people to swallow (pun intended). Why? Because often we want, what we want, when we want it, and we get upset with our spouse (or anyone for that matter) when they get in the way of it. We want to blame them for having the problem and get upset with their unreasonableness or infringement on our rights or our little pleasures in life. But what I have often found is that 99% of the time, when someone who loves you has an issue with what you are eating or with what you are drinking and how much you are consuming, there usually is a fairly good reason for it.

 I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard one spouse complain about the other spouse’s use or abuse of alcohol, only to get a rebuke and a justification from the other spouse about their choice. Then when I learn more about their situation, I hear story after story about how alcohol was involved in many of their conflicts. I also have heard couples make multiple comments about the types of food their spouse eats and lets their children eat. The majority of the time, the deep concern in their complaint is usually regarding a worry they have about their spouse’s health or maybe about how much money is being spent.

Either way, we have to ask ourselves, is this choice of food or drink worth the destruction of my marital relationship? What is it, about my actions about this choice that is causing so much angst for my loved one? Why am I finding it hard to let go of this particular pleasure in my life? I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have things we find pleasure in, in life, but if my pleasure is causing my beloved pain, for whatever reason, is it worth it?      

ACTION STEP: This week, take note of any choices you are making regarding food, drink, or maybe even activities that cause your spouse concern. Seek help from God and your spouse in choosing more “relationship friendly” options.