Fruit of the Spirit - Patience

Here’s a concept that is often missing in marriages – patience. When our spouse interferes with or messes up our plans, when they don’t measure up to our expectations, when they make a mistake or the same mistake multiple times, or when they forget important dates or details, we often are quick to becoming frustrated and angry. It seems the longer we are together, the easier it is to lose patience with one another.

Patience doesn’t come easy when emotions are high and stress is abundant. We can become frustrated easily when the actions or inactions of our “helpmate” seem to be getting in our way of attaining what we want, and sometime getting what we need. To complicate matters more, when we react towards each other with anger and disappointment, situations often turn into loud arguments or can lead to one or the other spouse, over time, withdrawing emotionally from the relationship.

Patience calls for us to take a ‘time-out’ or a break from a conversation that is getting heated, knowing that we need time to calm down and regroup. It calls for us to listen more and ask questions when we feel the urge to fight back and defend our point of view. It requires humility in remembering that your spouse has struggles, bad days, and forgetfulness just like all of us do. Patience means taking time to look for the best and to think the best of each other, and to recognize that ‘unsaid expectations’ are hard to realize since none of us are gifted with mind reading abilities.

Patience defined is: “the capacity to accept or bear delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” This can best be accomplished when we ask for the grace to endure the struggles we have with others as Christ did for us. No one ever said patience would be easy, just that it is a virtue best practiced for the wellbeing of ourselves and others.       

ACTION STEP: This week, pray for and work with God’s grace on having more patience with your spouse.