Prayer of St. Francis - Verse 7
“And where there is sadness, joy.”
This week, we focus on the 7th verse of the St. Francis Prayer, where we continue our efforts of being an instrument in the hands of God. One of the harder things to experience as a spouse is the process of walking with your beloved through the hard times, where sadness is intense. It is never easy to watch someone suffer, but when the person is close to you, there is often an urgent desire to help them overcome their grief and to find healing and joy again. It is even more difficult to bear when we have been the source of that sadness.
Too many of us just want the bad to quickly go away and for our beloved to once again find happiness in their life. However, most sorrow is a process that one must go through. As I have heard it said, “there is no quick and easy way to walk the Road to Calvary.” Even Jesus stated that suffering is a part of our broken world, and it is important for us to be willing to “pick up our cross and follow Him.” But too often, we push for a temporary fix of happiness in place of a deeper resolve in joy.
Let me explain what I mean. Often, out of being uncomfortable or strained by our loved one’s distress, we search for quick and effective ways to get back to “happy.” In doing so, many spouses give their loved ones the impression that their sadness is a burden and an annoyance, whether or not they intended to convey that. This can cause our spouse to feel rejected, alone, or even betrayed. The result could be anywhere from having an argument, a closing in on oneself, avoidance of each other, or a buildup of resentment.
To help bring joy in the midst of sadness calls for us to ‘walk with our spouse’ and to seek to understand how they are struggling. It calls for true empathy that doesn’t just desire for the pain to go away, but seeks to embrace the person’s journey and to help them carry their cross. The process of helping them bear their burden, brings about the joy of knowing we are not alone in the times of trial and mourning.
ACTION STEP: This week, when you notice that your spouse is sad or in a funk, resist the urge to ‘get them back to happy.’ Instead, ask them how you can walk with them through their trial.