Marriage from a ‘Christ Perspective’ - Part 2

(Matt. 5: 9) – “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

The hardest part about my job as a Marriage Therapist is seeing spouses, who are supposed to be each other’s beloved helpmate, be so cruel and unkind to one another. Some of the things I have heard over the years, I wouldn’t even consider doing to my worst enemy (seriously). As a therapist, my mission is to help restore unity, compassion, understanding, and overall peace. In doing so, I have learned more about the depth of what Christ was saying in his sermon on the mount in the passage above.

Blessed is the peacemaker. Blessed is the one who takes a ‘time out’ instead of letting a disagreement turn into a shouting match. Blessed is the one who tries to understand their spouse’s point of view rather than becoming defensive at most everything they say. Blessed is the spouse who encourages their spouse to become a better person rather than the one who is regularly finding fault in them. Blessed is the one who is gentle in their reactions towards their spouse when frustrated, instead of jumping to anger and disappointment.

So many fights could be avoided or lessened if we approached each situation with a mentality of peace. When my wife and I were doing a marriage talk recently, she said something that I use in therapy often. She said “I don’t know why I started to think the worst about Greg back in the difficult times in our marriage. He has always wanted the best for me, and I for him. We just needed to rediscover that and realize that our method of resolving issues was what needed to be fixed.” The best way to bring about peace is to start by making our interactions more inviting, calm, and focused on understanding and seeking resolve. It takes time. It takes work. But it especially takes humility.  

ACTION STEP: This week, seek ways to implement one or all of the ideas in paragraph two above.