Love Does Not Rejoice in Wrongdoing but in Truth

Sin is at the heart of broken marriages and of all broken relationships, for that matter. For relationships to thrive, couples must be honest and truthful to each other. Each of us must make hard choices at times, pick up our crosses, and follow Christ’s example in our love for each other. It is hard at times to be truthful, especially when we know our words will be hard for our beloved to hear, but this is the best recipe for working through a problem and eventually rebuilding trust and unity.

 Another issue, that I often see in couples I counsel, is that many attempt to “play off” hurtful or spiteful actions by pretending they are only joking. Although this may seem to be an insignificant habit, these gestures or words often come across (either intentionally or unintentionally) as underhanded attacks with hidden meaning. This can further damage a struggling relationship, as the “joking” does not make our meaning more palatable but rather dances around the real problem. Love calls for honesty, directness, and gentleness, not harshness and passive-aggressive remarks. It also calls for us to always seek the true, the good, and the beautiful in our relationship with each other.

 I know two things beyond the shadow of a doubt: God is love, and God is truth. Because of this, love should prompt us to truly be honest with and reward honesty from our beloved. When our spouse is seeking to be truthful with us, even when it is about mistakes they have made, we are called not to get so lost in the hurt and disappointment that we can’t find it within ourselves to forgive. Always seek to be truthful and to encourage truthfulness.  

 ACTION STEP: This week, seek to be truthful at all times with your spouse, even if you need some time to formulate your thoughts ahead of time. Also, seek to stop behaviors that are hurtful and to avoid using the phrase “I’m just joking around” in order to say or do things that your spouse finds hurtful.